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My Diary Stuff
My Reads Me:
 You are Beauty. You are beautiful, whether it be on the inside, the outside, or both. People are drawn to you as strongly as you are drawn to the beauty in the world around you. What Emotion Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
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2003-01-06 - 10:28 p.m. Had a really shit day today. I should never have got up. I wanted to go to the petstore to get a harness for the cat� mum is so slow that by the time we got there it was quite late. She kept distracting me with things like lunch. I had a massive long talk with her about doing a TEFL and basically depressed myself highly. I feel so useless. I came to the conclusion dad won�t or can�t give me the money for it and I don�t want to ask him, which means I have to pay for it. When I looked more into it I found out that I would have to be at the school where you do the teacher training from 9-6 for 5 days a week. Seeing as the schools are in London� this means getting up at 6am and not getting back till 8pm!! Plus HOMEWORK. Ok so there is no way I would manage that as mom helpfully pointed out. The whole thing is basically a pile of poo. Even if I did do the TEFL (by some miracle) I would have to work in Europe to get some experience and I don�t really want to live on my own in some place that makes me more lonely and shitty feeling. I am still looking into doing some kind of IT course, but by the time I had gotten to Tesco with my mom I felt like bursting into tears and was seriously depressing. I made a lot of an effort to make her a nice tea and so on�so she came online for 3 hours, whilst I moped around not knowing what to do and wishing I didn�t �need� to use the internet. Anyway, I managed to piss my mom off that much that she yelled at me, which depressed me even further!!! I must be a really crap person to live with right now. I just feel lost, lost and hopeless and useless. Finally got the chance to come online AND my dial up connection refused to connect me � damned dial up shite� and then when I got on the Internet�. MSN refused to allow me to sign in. When I finally got on MSN I chatted to one of my friends�well I moaned and she listened and I depressed her so much that she burst into tears! But I was slightly pleased to know that several of my friends including her had problems signing on. Cycled last night at 11.30pm. Didn�t do any today (yet) cos I feel so awful. Am watching a programme about obese people, which is making me feel better. I ate a lot today (well a lot for me� not �normal� people) and am currently eating a yoghurt� low fat mind you!! Gotta get up early tomorrow to take the kitten � in his harness lol � to the vets for the rest of his injections. Oh dear. Byyyyeeeeeeeeeeeee |
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