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My Diary Stuff
My Reads Me:
 You are Beauty. You are beautiful, whether it be on the inside, the outside, or both. People are drawn to you as strongly as you are drawn to the beauty in the world around you. What Emotion Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
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2002-12-01 - 9:23 p.m. Ok I am starting to treat my marathon periods in bed as a kind of weird/fun/crazy experience... like getting up to as much crazy stuff from my bed as possible. I'm not quite sure what I can do, but I am sure there are some things - any suggestions leave on my notes page!! Anyway I am hoping that tomorrow I can get up and do some 'normal' stuff like erm... vacuuming and erm dusting and other boring sh*t! I have been really terrible and not even started to fill in the job form. I need to fill in my job-seekers booklet and make it sound really good because I am a bit scared about that review. I don't want them to rahhhh at me. I was extremely honest with my bf today as to my state of health - I blatantly did not lie and say that I am fine... as I am normally inclined to. I just don't see the point in lying to him about my health. I mean it's not a lie in the deceitful sense of getting up to something... it's just I feel like it's easier for other people to deal with me if I don't reveal the reality of my life. Like when I used a wheelchair sometimes. It's not exactly something you go round telling people lol. He sent me a couple of pics today... which was so totally sweet. It made me happy anyway because it was out of the blue and not something I forced him to do. I like it when he does things like that off his own back and through his own choice rather than me asking for them. It makes me feel like he's thinking about me. Anyway he broke the news to me that he is going away tomorrow for about a week or maybe a bit more. Which is cool, but I will miss him so much that I don't like to think about it. It is quite possible that I shall take to writing even more manic postings than normal, but I shall try to control myself. I am really not looking forward to Wednesday - omg I feel so down just thinking about it - when I have to shlep down to London and make polite chit chat with my old uni dept. and also explain my lack of employment and then... I have to meet my friends (I am not feeling sociable) and exchange presents etc. Then on Thursday night my parents are going out... Friday night my sis and her bf are coming - which I know I shouldn't say, but I am dreading it :-( I can't just walk around in my nightwear or dressing gown. I once walked out of the shower in my towel to be confronted by him - omg I felt so uncomfortable. I am sure he means well, but he just makes me feel uncomfortable because he tries to catch me out the whole time with his sarcasm and not being a particularly sarcastic kinda girl... my gullibilty takes over... plus the brainfog. Oh and using the PC and grabbing the kitten - I can see it already. Gosh I sound such a bitch. Man... I like my space and unfortunately when you fill a place with visitors it's hard to maintain that. Oh yeah and then Saturday I am going to be all cultured and in the evening I am going to listen to a choral society concert. I just ate a cholla roll and now I feel sick. Poo. Tomorrow I am going to do a special diet I think, to see if I can cut down on the sickness. |
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