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My Diary Stuff
My Reads Me:
 You are Beauty. You are beautiful, whether it be on the inside, the outside, or both. People are drawn to you as strongly as you are drawn to the beauty in the world around you. What Emotion Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
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2002-09-04 - 8:36 p.m. Today turned out ok... I guess. In fact I am actually in quite a good mood right now - something that I didn't expect I would be writing in here. This is mainly because my bf is online - *surprised face* .... which I wasn't expecting and has put me in a really good mood and also (more boring reason) because the day went without too many problems. 'Thinking' Yeah so today was ok after a bad start.. I got up and was trying to be cheerful - sometimes I do make the effort even though I am not a morning person - and I was chatting to my mom. Anyway she had to wash her hair and she did it too late... so then I had to try and blow dry it/style it for her and she was stressing at me and blaming me.. he hee. SO that made us late for going out... and then when we got to town the car park was full on the ground level and this stupid man wouldn't let us past and then the ticket machine wasn't working - URGH. SO by the time I got to the Jobcentre I was a bit late by a few minutes. Hmph.. so the woman gave me a lecture about being late and warnings and things and made me feel like I was at school!! I found out details about a job, but the wage is really awful �4.10 an hour (min. wage) and so I didn't think much of that. I mean I was earning �5 an hour as a student. There was this job that I had seen working as a receptionist for some Luxury Fashion place - yeah 'Luxury Fashion' - but it was up in London. The pay was about �9 an hour - so even with travel I would be earning a lot more. Anyway, I rang up to find out about this job and the woman at the agency sounded quite enthusiastic and told me to send my CV. But it would mean going up everyday except Friday and mom would have to pick me up - which I don't want her to have to do. SO I am not gonna bother. I really want a job like that but on 2 days a week - as in 2 full days. If I could earn good money - which incidentally with a degree I feel I deserve - then I would be prepared to travel up to London. So... the job saga continues just as my friends' housing problems continue. It's such a pity they are having such problems because I really wanted them to get settled without all this hassle. Hmmmmmm... Sometimes I just feel a bit lost. I am happy at the moment, but sometimes it feels as if I am drifting around on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean and that I have no control over it. Maybe I am a control freak?? I don't know. I just like to feel like I am in control of what I am doing and what is happening to me... BUT sometimes it feels as if that is not the case. I guess it is human nature to want to have control over their destiny... but then it's not really possible to be in that position all the time - unfortunately. I have to be honest though.. I am really happy at the moment and it's mainly like 90% because of one particular person - and they know who they are... well I hope they do! Well I am sad and happy at the same time... sad because they're along way away and also they won't be able to come online much. But in all other aspects HAPPY :-) I have come to the conclusion that you can never tell how someone is. You think you know people and then they turn out different from how you had thought they were or your assessment of them. Sometimes this is for the better and sometimes for the worse. I have realised how sometimes I make people seem better than they in fact are because I want them to fill a gap in my life or to be something that I would like to have in my life. I have to learn not to do that and to see people for who they really are. Sat outside today for lunch at this cafe place with my mom. I was chatting to her about life. A lot of the time she has a lot of good advice and different perspectives for me to consider. It's great that I can talk to her about anything. Oooooo this is really long... had better stop. |
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