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My Diary Stuff
My Reads Me:
 You are Beauty. You are beautiful, whether it be on the inside, the outside, or both. People are drawn to you as strongly as you are drawn to the beauty in the world around you. What Emotion Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
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2004-01-22 - 2:00 p.m. I am higggggggggghly pissed off today. Yesterday was no better. Hopefully today I will manage to become less peeved as the day goes on, but don't hold your breath... you might die. Ok so yesterday sucked completely. I have not felt so emotionally or physically bad for ages. I am totally blaming 'the glands' for causing this, but I think something weird is going on with my hormones because I felt like I had permanent PMS, even though that's mad because it shouldn't be occurring right now. I got absolutely nothing done and kept out of the way of people because I was feeling so irritable I knew I'd end up ruining about every relationship I have. So today I woke up and thought hey new day possibly better? Hell no! That'd be too much to ask. My eyes felt heavy and I lay in bed considering how long I could leave it until just before it was too late to get ready for catching the bus. Mom started yelling up the stairs to check if I was awake, so I dragged myself out of bed and to my wardrobe to find an 'outfit' to wear. It's weird because normally I wear old, comfy, but unattractive fat slob clothes around the house and I kind of forget that when I eventually do go out I have to be able to wear something slightly more attractive and conventional. I tugged at a pair of trousers and tried them on, they fitted, but they felt a bit uncomfortable around the waist and stomach area... so I pulled at another pair, pulled them up and lo and behold they don't fit me anymore. Ok this is a travesty. I have entered a new realm of FATNESS. These are the trousers which this time last year were on the slightly too large scale and NOW they DON'T EVEN FIT. It put me into an immediate bad mood and slightly panicky state. I dug out a pair of black 'comfy' trousers and wore those instead with my long grey cardy thingy. So this is it, I'm mad. I declared the new, worse fat situation to my mom and whilst in town for the Jobcentre vist, I popped into Tesco and bought cottage cheese and other diet foods. I HAVE to lose weight. I feel so flabby, uncomfortable and unconfident... plus I can't afford a new wardrobe of fat girl clothes. So yeah I am well and truly calorie counting and fat watching. I have an amazing 594 calories left to consume today. I refuse to get fatter. I will not sink into the realm of the double chin. I am assuming this week will not get any worse, but then that's probably a bad assumption to make. Take care guys. |
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