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My Diary Stuff
My Reads Me:
 You are Beauty. You are beautiful, whether it be on the inside, the outside, or both. People are drawn to you as strongly as you are drawn to the beauty in the world around you. What Emotion Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
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2003-09-06 - 12:09 p.m. The one thing I did yesterday was make a cake.. just a sponge sandwiched together with jam - nothing fancy - which was probably a bad idea. I feel even worse today... really bad. I just feel so exhuasted and in pain and my throat still hurts that I am getting depressed. My sister called me today. Our relationship is developing. We are bonding over our lack of direction and family problems. She's strangely supportive of me. She thinks I should do what I want. She also thinks I should move out - not quite sure how she thinks that is achieveable. My feeling of pantsness healthwise, energywise, work/careerwise and emotionally made me want to break down on the phone in tears. I think she realised 'cos she said I sounded depressed and suicidal - NICE! I'm not suicidal or even that depressed... I just feel sad and desperate. Like someone who is clutching at straws to make a 'normal' life for themselves. Anyway, sis and her other half are coming tomorrow and staying a couple of nights. I am strangely looking forward to it in a kind of exasperated way. I would possibly even enjoy it if her fiance would quit the sarcasm and stop hassling me. One can only hope. At least it means new food. I know I will just end up staying in my room wearing a pink headscarf and watching crap tv, but I am looking forward to a bit of company. A large development of yesterday is that he decided to actually talk to me. He just started blurting out random emotional stuff. Freaky, but good. It would have been better if he had done that like a week ago! Dream on... so in that area things are ok now. I just like to know where I stand. Lastly, sleep... why is it that when I actually do sleep for a number of hours it's just so unrefreshing. I can vaguely recall being a child, going to sleep and waking up refreshed, bouncy.. ready for the day. Now I wake up and wonder how can it be morning!? I just feel like I imagine you'd feel if you have a bad hangover and have bruised all your bones. I can't wait for my parents to get back so that I can sleep for over 12 hours. Anyway, I am off to upload the sponge. Toodlepip.
So here it is: The Cake
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