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My Diary Stuff
My Reads Me:
 You are Beauty. You are beautiful, whether it be on the inside, the outside, or both. People are drawn to you as strongly as you are drawn to the beauty in the world around you. What Emotion Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
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2003-06-30 - 12:19 a.m. Today, well technically yesterday, was a horribly weird day. I didn't do anything really... except lounge around on the sofa watching hours of TV and listen to my parents who spent over 9 hours online, discussing where they should go on holiday. I really felt quite death-like and finally got to come online at about 9pm. Pretty soon after coming online, my neck started to pain me really badly. I am not sure if it's my glands or what, but omg does this hurt! I guess I'd better get offline soon and try to sleep. You know it's strange, but recently I have upset a few people or so it seems. I rarely upset people. It hurts me so badly that I am reminded of why I should be more guarded about exposing my feelings and myself in general, to others. But recently it seems like I am upsetting people more than usual, or easier than normally. I know that one of these people that I upset badly, is only looking out for me and being caring and doing her bit as a friend, but somehow I am not sure what exactly I am supposed to do to make things better with her. I have started to see myself as a selfish person. I probably expect of others something that I shoudn't, in that I want them to listen to me. I guess I only expect that because I feel like I am there for them if they need to talk or sound-off at me... and believe me a hell of a lot of my friends do make use of this service. I have given up giving advice, how can I give advice when I am such a nut-case myself? In less gloomy news, my dad has said he will pay for my mom to accompany me to AD. Quite bizarre really, but he was overcome with my dad's characterstic random generosity, which you need to snap up when offered in case it is never offered again. It made me feel a little relieved, because although I will continue to save as much money as possible it means that I am definitely going to be able to go on holiday with my mom, AND if I want, be able to afford the first part of my distance learning course to train as a Montessori teacher. This was all something that was playing on my mind recently... money worries, so thank God that's kinda lessened now a bit. |
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