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My Diary Stuff
My Reads Me:
 You are Beauty. You are beautiful, whether it be on the inside, the outside, or both. People are drawn to you as strongly as you are drawn to the beauty in the world around you. What Emotion Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
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2003-01-02 - 8:56 p.m. I did a lot of manic cycling today... well it seemed like a lot and it was way more than yesterday and Tuesday. I stepped on the scales this morning to notice some significant weightloss... now bearing in mind that we have just had Christmas and New Year and I have consumed a whole year's fat supply in just over a week... this is a MIRACLE!!! Could it be the bike? Or just the pure bizarreness of my body? Or the last two days of weird eating habits? Anyway, whatever it was I am really happy! Last night I couldn't sleep cos I was in so much pain. I debated going and watching TV downstairs with my duvet on the sofa, but then I knew I would be dead today and unable to do a thing. I feel a bit sore about life this evening. I always take things out on my nearest and dearest when I feel ill or am in pain - meaning my mom and my bf get it in the ear. Thing is, in general, my mom is used to it, but my bf doesn't realise I don't think. Well I mean how do you say: Look I feel like you scraped me off the pavement and stuck me in a deepfat fryer before putting me in a blender and depositing me here. SO don't mind me... cos I am likely to bite your head off at every word! You just can't say it in a way which makes it sound the way you feel without seeming over the top and exagerrating! I feel so moody, grumpy and nasty sometimes that I want to cry at myself... at my own attitude... I don't know how to be nice when I am in such bad pain - normally it's ok and I can just be 'normal' - well normal for me. Anyways, am sorry to go on and vent on here, but am just a tad fed up. Today I watched an hour of the Lord of the Rings... am gonna finish watching it tomorrow. Think I might go and watch some Disney in a moment. Maybe am not gonna come online tomorrow... I have decided to sign off the dole soon... I can't wait - am gonna be free, but penniless.... dunno how am gonna cope... might have to take up babysitting. TTFN |
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