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My Diary Stuff
My Reads Me:
 You are Beauty. You are beautiful, whether it be on the inside, the outside, or both. People are drawn to you as strongly as you are drawn to the beauty in the world around you. What Emotion Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
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2002-11-26 - 11:10 p.m. Life has it's moments. I feel like my life is a cross between a soap and a chat show - albeit boring ones!! I don't want to have to get up and shower early tomorrow to go to the job place. It will be so cold and I want to stay in bed and sulk. I am getting used to how some people treat me - to the point where it's starting not to have the affect on me it used to. It's weird. I just find it irritating how they think they can treat me how they like, but when I treat them in the same way... they get pissed at me. Even when I don't do anything wrong they act like that. I wouldn't mind if I had been really nasty or awful or rude, but I haven't. Time after time after time I feel like this, but I can't figure out a way to change it. Strangely I discovered a few old journals from when I was younger and I freaked out. The most recent one from 1998/1999 was disturbing because it made it clear to me that I haven't really changed much the way my relationships go. I was experessing the same things I feel and get upset about and worry about now. In the past 4 or 5 years I haven't changed this. I am wondering now whether this is a fault of mine - like I keep choosing people who are causing this to happen (similar personality types etc., or maybe I attract that type of person?)... or whether my expectations of relationships are too much and therefore, I get let down? I don't think I am gonna figure this one out. Maybe I am just too deep thinking and want everything to be fine and almost perfect when in fact nothing in my world is ever gonna be like that. However, on a plus note... I am glad to see that other people - namely one of my girl friends... have just as much trouble and confusion as me about these matters. She's having her own slice of hell right now on msn and asking me if I know what her guy is talking about... sadly I don't have a clue! So I can't help her... we are both at a loss. I don't think I have found the right Male Manual yet in which to figure out the behaviour and idiosyncracies of the opposite sex. *Men always seem to get the ball in their court* - don't worry I am not man hater... I just wish I understood guys better. Had better mooch off now... cos I didn't mean to write any of this
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