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My Diary Stuff
My Reads Me:
 You are Beauty. You are beautiful, whether it be on the inside, the outside, or both. People are drawn to you as strongly as you are drawn to the beauty in the world around you. What Emotion Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
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2002-11-10 - 11:59 a.m. I�ve never felt this way before � it�s as if my world has collapsed around me. I don�t know what to do anymore. I feel so ill � having come down with flu. It�s �that� time of the month. And I miss my boyfriend who is now not my boyfriend. I can�t stop crying. I hate life so much� I just want to die. I can�t put into words how I feel because no one word sums it up adequately. I can�t believe I am letting a guy destroy me in this way. One day I will learn to lock up my heart and never let anyone, anyone, have to key to it. Feeling like this� so alone, so in pain, it�s not worth it. I miss him so much already; I want the guy I liked and loved, the guy I fell in love with to come back. It�s like he�s disappeared. I don�t know how I allowed myself to get like this. I can�t believe I let myself need him and want him. I never let myself do that normally. He�s seen me at my most vulnerable. There�s nothing more I can do. I�ve told him things about myself and my feelings that I would never tell anyone. The ball is in his court and it seems he doesn�t want me anymore. I don�t know why he wanted me in the first place � or maybe that was all fabrication. I just wish I could leave this world and be somewhere else. Things just don�t seem to work out for me. I tried to make him happy and be a good girlfriend, but I feel like now� I clearly wasn�t. He was the first and only person I ever considered leaving my family, friends, security and country for. I had just spent the last week looking for jobs for hours and sending my CV off to places in UAE� just for him� because I love him. I should have learnt that you never show guys you want them. |
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