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My Diary Stuff
My Reads Me:
 You are Beauty. You are beautiful, whether it be on the inside, the outside, or both. People are drawn to you as strongly as you are drawn to the beauty in the world around you. What Emotion Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
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2003-09-21 - 2:10 p.m. I�m very upset. The laptop hospital visit did not go well. Basically the man said that the power supply is connected directly onto the motherboard so that means either buying a new mobo for �300 or a completely new laptop for �700. Neither of which I can afford. Plus I thought the idea of forking out �300 when quite possibly something else would go wrong with it seemed a bit mad. Anyway, I resisted the urge to have a mad fit in the shop and the man said that he would take it apart and see if he can do a botch mending job on it, which would cost �75 and be �temporary�. Hmph� so yesterday they took it apart. I never realised it took so long to take apart laptops, but apparently it takes 3 hours just to get it into pieces. He left an answer phone message saying he hadn�t forgotten me, but it had taken him all day (in between dealing with customers I guess) to get it in pieces and that on Monday he would know the �good� or �bad� news� as to whether he can botch fix it or not. My laptop is my means of communication with the outside world. It�s what makes me feel a bit less like a sick person and a little bit more like a normal person. I have so many files and things on there as well. I felt stressed because my money has gone down badly from buying the flights and I still have to fund my spending money etc., for the trip to the UAE. So now I am facing the reality that I need to find a job ASAP. On top of that, my M.E/PCOS have flared up � possibly because of housesitting duties and I am not feeling at all good. What narks me about life is the fact that I (like everyone else) just exist, I never get anywhere. The money that I could earn in a part-time job is immediately swallowed up by bills or replacing things like my laptop. Right now there is no possibility of me working fulltime in the UK. It�s just too pressurised. The other day all my energy was taken up in getting out of bed, feeding myself breakfast and two hours later having a wash. I have to face reality and to me, right now, it seems bleak. There are people way worse than me, which makes me sad. If I find it hard to live like this, then I struggle to imagine what it is like for them day in day out. I need a ray of hope, something to pull me out of my black cloud. At the moment I just wish I were someone else, someone without this disease. I have had enough right now. |
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