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My Diary Stuff
My Reads Me:
 You are Beauty. You are beautiful, whether it be on the inside, the outside, or both. People are drawn to you as strongly as you are drawn to the beauty in the world around you. What Emotion Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
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2003-07-19 - 1:30 a.m. I am in a weird mood. I feel a bit sad. I didn't make it into work today. I spent the whole day sleeping, with little breaks where I woke up and mom came and read to me, or I managed to read a few pages of a book. I don't know why, but my speech started to go yesterday. Scarily. I haven't had that problem for a while. I kept saying words wrongly or else getting a word that was near the one I wanted but not the right word. Car park was par cark and instead of saying: Knowing my luck not even the dustman would marry me - Nosher said: Knowing my luck not even the dustbin would marry me. Then today this turned into a complete inability to string together sentences. Fogged... I feel a bit better for resting, but I am also waiting for the monthly. I really seriously think that finishing work is going to be a good idea. My body is having trouble coping. Having said that, I need money... ummmmm... I feel very guilty about not being able to go into work - which is another reason I can't wait to leave. The feeling you are letting people down and ruining your absence record is something I certainly don't relish. My dad is disappointed in me. I can feel it. This whole wedding thing has brought it up. He's disappointed that he spent so much money on educating me and my sis and we've got 'nowhere' in his eyes. I am not sure what he thought I'd do. I think he wanted us to become professionals... career women. I was sad to know that he's disappointed in me. Mainly because it's been such a struggle for me to get anywhere and sometimes the only reason I stayed at school and uni was because I wanted to make him happy, pleased and proud. He has been quite sweet lately, especially with me not being well. I really appreciate it because I can't cope with anything else right now. P is away at the moment. I must catch up with a few people. I have been reading a lot lately, which really makes me feel good. I love escapism and reading's just a great form of that for me. Oh well I am waffling... *banging her head against the wall* |
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